To Non-Duality and Beyond!

I believe in Love.

I feel Love.

I know Love.

I absolutely know Love. That is all I truly know.

I see that actions based on Love nourish, re-build and heal our world.

I believe in humanity’s capacity, capability, ability and primal desire to Love.

I believe that the very essence of humanity is Love.

It is therefore I believe in the possibility of World Peace.

I will stick my neck out here and guesstimate that 99% of what we believe to be true is something we believe blindly. Let’s face it, only a tiny fraction of us have actually personally proven what we believe.   For example, none of us met Moses, Jesus, Buddha or Mohammed. Nor did we meet the human beings who met Moses, Jesus, Buddha or Mohammed.   Nor did we meet those people, normal unexceptional human beings, who met the people who met Moses, Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed, and who wrote down the various accounts of the lives and teachings of Moses, Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed.   Nor did we meet the people who re-wrote those accounts, and nor did we meet the people who tore a few pages out, added some, and amended a few paragraphs to those accounts which eventually formed the scriptures as we see them today.   Similarly, have we not had the opportunity to collect, decipher, comprehend and publicise all the empirical data that make up the science that is used to define our common world view of today.

From the minute we are born we have to decide, on a moment to moment basis, whether we believe our shared manifested world as it is presented to us. We also have to cope with the never-ending stream of added tricks from those who want to take advantage of our tendency to believe blindly; Does Father Christmas really bring me my Christmas presents? Can I really not say that? Is it really wrong to want that? Is it really for my own good? Does my bum really look big in this? Did the president really have inappropriate relations, under-the-counter relations or just inventive public relations? Is the Minister really stepping down in order to spend more time with his family? Is our world really in a recession? Did he really mean that? Did she really say that? Did they really do that? Is it really true?

Based on our upbringing, we simply believe what we trust, hope, need or like to be true. This is accompanied by the level of faith in the ethics and honesty that we can muster for any given source, whether it be in a person or a piece of information.

More importantly, we can be brain-washed, indoctrinated and guided to believe. And we can train and un-train ourselves, to believe, and subsequently feel, anything we want and this, in turn, is what creates our shared manifested world.

What motivates us?

Through out walking my spiritually conscious path, I have surrounded myself with knowledge and people who represented my belief system at that particular moment in time or which represented the next expansion of my belief system. With each expansion a new rule-set followed which I eagerly took upon myself to master.

When I later looked at my motivations for each belief expansion, I discovered one basic desire that underpinned all my searching;

To cope with the hostile World I found myself in. – To heal the pain. – To sprinkle the World with magic and kiss it all better. – To make suffering go away.

Good intentions and Spiritual Snobbery

In my teens I got physically ill which was caused by what I call a ‘Cortisol-Childhood’. As the established medical world was not able to help me, I embarked on my focused spiritually conscious path, as I knew that was where I would find all my answers. I removed my attention from the standard world view and spent conscious time on immersing myself in new age knowledge, which despite its name, funnily enough contains a lot of ancient knowledge. I also joined with a different ‘tribe’ of people who subscribed to the same beliefs as me – we were a tribe who were on the “right” path with the approval of God and the Ascended Masters.

We did not want to be human – with bowel movements, high-maintenance Egos and unsightly emotions such as jealousy and anger. We wanted to be old souls (as young souls were not as developed and wise) who were merely having a human experience. We wanted to be non-judging, altruistic God-like spirits who were simply visiting Earth for a voluntary spot of non-dual, ego-forsaking exercise.

Our need to ‘do different’, to ‘do special’ made us feel special much to the delight of our trodden-on Egos who decided that we were sometimes so extra special thus creating a bit of spiritual snobbery along the way of our good intentions.   I think that I have managed to drop the spiritual snobbery by now but it did take some time, and I had to go to Non-Duality and beyond to really get there – to get here – but more of that later.

We felt we were meant to be, meant to do and meant to experience whatever ‘spiritually correct’ inspiration we came across. And we went forth in the company of Angels to do magic, to develop ourselves, to feel worthy, to heal our illnesses, to heal and inspire others, to heal the World, to unveil ultimate life purpose, and to leap up on the next level of our Karma spiral in the name of Peace, Love and Light.

Super Powers

When I was around 19, I started my Holistic Therapist training, specialising in Intuitive Massage, and I was fully qualified at the age of 23. Early on in my training I discovered that I could facilitate the removal of common physical pain such as headaches and joint and muscle pain; I simply tuned in to divine light, felt warm energy run through my hands and when touching my clients their pains disappeared. Wow! What an amazing feeling – to actually help another person become free of pain. To me, that was ultimate life purpose at the time but it also gave birth to an Ego induced smidgen of that sweet feeling of having super powers, which then gave birth to wanting to have more super powers in the hope that God would approve.

When I also discovered that I had the power to change the way I see and feel the world it similarly gave me that little sensation of having super powers – I was now able to declare that the world was perfect, suffering and all, and therefore it was (in my little world).

Again, let us remind ourselves that we usually want super powers, not just to feel extra special, but also so that we can make the bad guys disappear, together with their creation called suffering, in order for us to feel safe.

To Non-Duality and Beyond!

At the age of 23, I was first consciously introduced to Non-duality when, during a work shop, my Rebirthing teacher launched the notion that “everything that happens is perfect”. My Rebirthing teacher had not quite mastered this concept at the time as he did concede that some times things could be a bit more perfect.

Non-Duality springs from religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism and Vedanta and there are many paths and aspects of how we have adopted Non-Duality in to our spiritually conscious lives; in one end of the spectrum we perceive our World as a mere ‘expression’ of events that cannot be defined, matter including human form cannot be defined, and human interaction and communication is deemed as meaningless movements and sounds that cannot be defined either. At the other end of the spectrum we perceive our World as perfect ‘as it is’ and so it just ‘is’, and every action and occurrence we experience, including suffering, similarly just ‘is’ as well – we do not judge it as good or bad – it just ‘is’ in every perfect moment.

The following statements are often used when describing Non-Duality:

“The World and Life is perfect and beautiful. Every experience is perfect and beautiful. Happiness is perfect and beautiful. Suffering is perfect and beautiful”.

“Full acceptance of every moment”.

“Pure being in every now”.

“Interconnectedness while at the same time all things retain their individuality”.

“The empirical worldview is an illusion/is unreal”.

“It only exists if it exists in you”.

“Living without judgement and resistance to life”.

“Being you without your story”.

“Life is an expression of the Divine. The world just ‘is’ “.

“Absolute Oneness – we are God and God is us – as opposed to God versus Human Being”.

…and this one – hold on to your halo whilst slowly reading the following:

“I am the awareness of consciousness observing itself”.

To name a few, Non-Duality has been promoted by highly respected authors/facilitators such as Eckhart Tolle (he wrote ‘A New Earth’), Byron Katie (she wrote ‘Loving What Is’), Helen Schuman and William Thetford (they wrote ‘A Course in Miracles’).

Non-Duality is achieved via meditation aiming for a state of pure awareness, together with continued self enquiry into our own belief and experience about life – what we think it is, who we think we are, who we really are (“Who am I”), what is really happening, what is really true and the goal is most often to simply ‘be awareness’ as much as possible until this is achieved continuously and thereby mastered.

I have practised self enquiry on a daily basis for many years, and by observing my thoughts and questioning everything that I thought and felt, think and feel, I have helped myself gain useful insight into the power of how our thoughts shape our World.

For me, self enquiry started when I was about 12 when life presented me with teen parties and the preparation for my Christian Confirmation. I found those teenage-angst ridden parties utterly pointless, and after trying it out I decided to spare myself from the sheer boredom and instead question what it was that my class mates got out of it that I did not, as we were clearly not experiencing the same thing. Similarly with the preparation for my Christian Confirmation I found that I did not fit in with this doctrine, which was apparently true for so many and adhered to by so many, and that I would be lying if I went through with it –  and so I started to question everything including myself.

There are many benefits associated with self enquiry, for example:

It does wonders for hoicking you back when your monkey-mind has gone walkabouts or run-arounds, and so it shouts, “Oy you, get back here! Get back right here in the now, as in right now!”

It helps reveal how we often treat people, as well as ourselves, in ways that we hold other people responsible for in doing to us.

It is brilliant for your unplanned trips to the land of endless worry, where you suddenly find yourself playing out worst case scenarios to include potential natural disasters, made up nasty people and continuous bad luck, and so it pulls you out of all those disappointments that will never come true.

It is great for dispelling the myths we were brought up to believe, and it frees us from religious suppression associated with some religious institutions. I am God, God is Me, We are One – help us to withdraw from the thunder of institutional disapproval and we are no longer miserable sinners and good-for-nothing human beings.

It spares you from playing all the horror movies of your past, when it reminds you every time you go to that specific cinema that the rule is; no repeat screenings.

It assists you in withdrawing from the belief that you are a victim and it is a super tool for stop ‘sweating the small stuff’ so self enquiry in itself is a very useful tool that I can recommend highly.

The curious thing is though, that the only moments when I have felt that I truly mastered the feeling of Non-Duality has either been through meditation by reaching a short-lived state of ‘being awareness’, or when being a human being no longer made sense. – When I felt that I had nothing to lose and when I was so tired that I did not care if I was dead or alive. When I did not care what I had or did not have. – When the World ‘just was’ with or without me and with or without you my fellow human being. In those times the Non-Duality concept gave me a sense of being in a safe house, protecting me from having to deal with all the horror moment of the world and protecting me from feeling complete despair and helplessness – I ‘just was’ and it was neither good or bad, and everybody else ‘just were’ and that was neither good or bad, no matter what they were going through because I had withdrawn to my hermetically sealed bubble of ‘what is’.

Katie Byron says it very well when she said that she is ‘a lover of what is’ simply because it hurts when she argues with reality, and I can certainly relate to that. I took great comfort in doing her work, which she calls ‘The Work’, when her first book was published. I loved that here was a tool to help us really take responsibility for ourselves and relinquish victimhood, and I really strived to believe, for a long time, her notion that suffering only exist in reality if we believe our own thoughts of suffering. But I always had this nagging feeling; “This method helps my own suffering in my own World, but what about all my fellow human beings who are currently suffering, in this very moment, in our Shared Manifested World?” ………..

For over 20 years I strived to make peace with suffering with the aid of a series of aspects of the Non-Duality spectrum. During this time I met and saw various fellow strivers who were often on different points of striving on the Non-Duality spectrum; some were using this concept to desperately trying to re-name the most emotion loaded, and therefore potentially the most dangerous, ingredients of their life so that they could bear to lose it and thereby avoid the pain: “My girl/boyfriend is no longer my girl/boyfriend – she/he is just something that ‘is’ “.   Some were teaching the Non-Duality tools without committing to the concept personally.   Some were frantically trying to erase their sense of self as they perceived their self as Ego and entirely bad.   Some viewed Dualistic people as poor ‘Believers’ who would hopefully some day wake up to Non-Dualism and find peace.   Some had lost their bond with their children as they could no longer ‘remember’ how it was to suffer and was only able to meet their children with universal love but without any understanding or personal and parental love.   Some were frantically trying to suppress their human needs in the hope this would deliver them to mastery.  Some had managed to create a safe environment and felt peacefully at ease with the World –  most of the time.   Some were like me, stuck in wanting to reach the goal of mastering the concept whilst losing track of why we were striving for this goal in the first place.

Then one day, I asked myself why I was still so keen to master this type of concept living, when all I had ever achieved was moments of ‘being awareness’ and the answer I got was; to make suffering go away.

Then it struck me how sad and quite insane it is that so many of our World’s spiritually conscious, spend our every day striving to achieve pure awareness by constant Ego-forsaking self enquiry, when all we have to do is to un-create suffering – not striving to cope with suffering by retreating to our sterile hermetically sealed bubbles of loving and accepting that everything just ‘is’ or ‘meant to be’, but by actually making real and true suffering go away. We can begin to un-create suffering by stopping our continuous assistance in creating suffering as we have done through endorsing it as something that just ‘is’, something that is ok to exist, something that has a right to exist, something that has a purpose to exist, and that brings value by being an important and equal ingredient of a beautiful and perfect World.

To spell out the obvious, suffering is so much more than that for every fellow human being that is enduring it. At this very moment children are being molested and women and men are being raped and tortured and I am sure they would agree with me that what they are feeling and experiencing right now ‘isn’t just’  – it is violent, destroying, soul crushing unadulterated suffering.

The wish for mastering Non-Duality is yet another type of concept living – a self soothing attempt to cope with suffering by performing voluntary brain damage to ourselves – dissecting and discarding the parts of our thinking that is required to create feelings to truly love, in the hope that we can decide, and thereby make is so, that suffering is not suffering but instead something that ‘just is’.

Perhaps the primary reason we have grasped for Non-Duality as a solution to our survival and meaningful existence is because we believe that we are powerless and unable to erase true suffering. All the sub-reasons, we are aware of are perhaps not as strong as simply wanting suffering to go away, sub-reasons such as; To reach the highest state possible whilst in a human body.   The wish for super powers.   Secretly hoping that somehow, the entire World’s population will eventually master Non-Duality and then we will arrive at true Peace anyway.   An urge to develop our soul.  To be all accepting and altruistic just like God.   To break through old beliefs.   To free ourselves from the tyranny of our body.   To be like how we think we are, when we are not on this Planet in physical form. To find passage in to parallel dimensions.   To defy entropy and other Universal laws perceived as barriers……….

Suffering – the biggest con mankind has ever seen

We have manifested suffering so firmly in our Shared Manifested World that we can predict the percentage of suffering in most areas on this planet. Governments and local police, all over the planet, each have a set of statistics that predict future incidents such as homicide, rape, aggravated assault, gravely bodily harm, robbery etc. based of previous incidents. And so suffering has become a reliable ingredient in today’s world.

Back in my good old ‘tribal days’ we supported each other whenever we experienced past and current personal suffering by assuring each other that it was all meant to be, that God always gave us enough strength to get though each challenge, and that our soul was probably a very ambitious soul since we had been, and were, going through all this suffering in this particular life. And although our good intentions did do a lot of good it also kept us stuck in creating more of the same; repeatedly finding meaning and purpose in suffering and thereby participating in and creating more suffering.

A very large part of the religious and new age community believe that everything that happens is ‘meant to be’. What we forget is that since we create our shared manifested world, not just with our actions but also with our belief system and feelings – we create everything that is meant to be. This means that we have a choice if we want to continue to create suffering (such as torture, murder, child abuse and everything we can think of where a human being causes another human being to suffer – and possibly any other kind of suffering as well).

Suffering has no purpose in itself as the only real lesson you can learn from suffering is to avoid it in the future. We can easily learn life lessons though love instead. The reason we believe that instances of suffering is ‘meant to be’, and thereby prescribe it some higher meaning, is because we are so used to creating suffering that we have come to believe that it has a valid place in our world.   As a part of our survival mechanism we have learnt to find the ‘silver linings’ when ever we suffer in order to give us meaning and therefore strength to carry on with living. This survival mechanism also helps us whenever we get ill as it gives us reason to fight for our survival and it relieves us from feeling despair and even guilt for getting ill in the first place.   It helps our recovery after our ordeal if we can attribute a retrospect purpose and believe it was there to teach us something and to reward us with wisdom. And this works even better when we can give it added purpose by prescribing it a perceived higher meaning and so ‘meant to be’ equals God’s will – thus giving suffering, including illness, an even stronger purpose and reason to continuously manifest.   So we hear survivors saying; “the heart-attack/embolism/cancer is the best thing that happened to me because before my illness I was not very conscious, or kind, or caring, or attentive, or appreciative and I was always fearful …” However, we forget that we would never have ended up as not present, un-kind, un-caring, un-attentive, ungrateful and afraid if we had been spared from suffering and brought up in Love in the first place. More importantly, we would not have contracted an illness if we had been spared from suffering and brought up in Love in the first place. It is anti-love and its ingredient called suffering that makes us ill – suffering caused us to believe in the purpose of suffering, which caused us to participate in and create more suffering, which caused us to suffer continuously.

We just did not know, that we were the primary creators of suffering. We did not know that there was no purpose in suffering. We did not know that we did not have to experience suffering.  We did not know that we had the right to avoid suffering. We did not know that we had the ability to un-create suffering. Our parents did not know. Our ancestors of many generations back, did not know.    Suffering caused us to forget that we were born lovable.   We just did not know.  We were innocent.  You were innocent.

We all have a share in creating our shared manifested world – not just our own world so it is no longer a case of ‘believe and do whatever works for you’. We all have a responsibility to all of those who are suffering and who are not in a position to pretend their suffering is not happening. And not only is it unfair and unacceptable, but I am pretty sure that when we look deep enough, it goes straight against the true essence of our being to keep on allowing suffering to continuously manifest by endorsing it as something that  just ‘is’ or something that is ‘meant to be’.

Anyhow, lately I have been wondering if more fellow Non-Duality strivers and general Suffering is Meant to Be Believers would be open to trying something else compared to what we have been doing for the past several thousand years. I was wondering if you would be willing to accept, that as we now know, that we create our shared manifested world with our belief system and feelings (not just our actions) through our connectedness, that we stop cunning ourselves and each other in to believing that suffering just ‘is’ and is ‘meant to be’ and instead reclaim our power to erase it.

So today, I would like to invite you to take suffering out of your perfect world – just open your hermetically sealed bubble, rummage around until you find it perhaps neatly filed between pure being and compassion. Then pick it up and throw it out like an old chewed up dummy.   You are welcome to slam your bubble shut and tight immediately after – all I am asking is that you stop creating continuous suffering by keeping it in what you call your perfect World.    You could also try and leave your bubble ajar and then let in our shared manifested air. Then take a deep breath and consciously seize our collected power, this power called Love, that has always been present and available to us, and which cannot thrive alongside suffering. Then help us to create a World without suffering as suffering was never ‘meant to be’.

I do not believe in meaningful suffering.

I do not believe in an ‘is-ness’ in suffering.

I believe in Love.

I feel Love.

I know Love.

I absolutely know Love. That is all I truly know.

I see that actions based on Love nourish, re-build and heal our world.

I believe in humanity’s capacity, capability, ability and primal desire to Love.

I believe that the very essence of humanity is Love.

It is therefore I believe in the possibility of World Peace.

What do you choose to believe?

With Love,


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